A
Teacher’s Teachers Day!
Confessions of a humanities cum
communicative teacher
I
do not know where to begin and locate myself. Might be in a trishanku phase or
a transition phase. Perhaps! It all happened as unanticipated as an Ockhi
cyclone or Kerala floods. A few innocent
looking people entered my life as an out of syllabus- oh, yeah, 99INAC.
Literally, I am in a serene land flooded with that one coinage from all nook
and cranny: ‘Ma’am’ (No, I don’t enjoy at all). A handful months have passed
like a smooth breeze and there came that auspicious ‘Teachers Day’. As usual, I
wished teachers day to all my teachers who did mould the present me. Above all,
my wishes for all loving and caring teachers who called me ‘my dear Aparna’, my
dearest Aparna, my darling, Good Heavens , well done, impossible Aparna, crazy,
vocal, talented and what not. I did not forget to wish my present HoD Sir. I
proceeded my trip to A212 after sipping my usual tea. I did not have the mood
to enjoy breakfast and present myself in a Sari. Although Electrical beauties
asked whether we are coming in Sari and joining them in and with their plan, we/I
did not want to spoil our plan of ‘Sari day’ on behalf of Ruth’s chechi’s
farewell (might be the farewell Lalithechi and me bestow in our own ‘Chomskey
Chomskey’ way).
I
stepped my foot out of A514 and it is time for my walkathon race to B109. I ran
in the lightning’s speed to catch hold of a glass of tea. But to my utter
dismay, chechis were ready to catch hold of their return bus. When I reached
the tunnel corner near B320, I met the chai bhayya and he informed that only
cold coffee is left. After all, it’s coffee, (yeah, my tea’s brother) and let
it be cold for the day. I had it in two sips and made my journey to B109 section.
Sleeping kids as usual were not willing to get rid of the embrace of sleep
goddess. The moment I asked them the
query on exam marks, almost everyone got up. But when informed them my
helplessness in this matter, many felt like sleeping again. As I had noted a
few points, remarks and reviews of all the papers and the answers I have gone
through, I explained those. Although the answer scripts were in a mess, they
did not have any problem in locating themselves when I named the book review
and imaginary conversation. Oh, my Good Lord! Everybody started asking me-
Ma’am, how much did I get? How is my score, ma’am? I had to convince them that
I have no role in that act and I have a role only in evaluating a few answers.
But I assured and ensured that everyone scored good marks as far as I know.As I
really want them to perform extremely well in the end term exam, I pointed out
the mistakes. Moreover, I always have a guilty feeling that I have nothing to
do with their inter personal communication. All I can do is the negligible
duties and few stuffs like this comprising their doubt clearance. The lion
share torchies of the entire academy is sleeping in this class. Still, I have
immense faith that they will perform well in their exams to come. While
informing them about the random substitution (Had I known this, I should have
brought my PC), the phrase ‘teachers day’ accidentally skipped out of my mouth.
Patak told- Ma’am, Happy Teachers Day. We forgot it is teachers day. Then I
heard a chorus wishing the day for me. I have already informed that there is a
change in the last hour and I will be taking the Physics hour too. Many said-
Ok Ma’am, with a smile. The class was all set for the inter personal
communication and the nuances in presenting it in an examination format. Many
were captured by exam thoughts where as many others were captured by the dozy
mood. I aksed Akarshan and a few others to get up and even scared that I will
ask the Physics teacher to come and engage if they don’t get up. I have seen
almost all faces awake and enlightened within no time. Albeit my lovely
Abhishek Pitale (a bit unwell today) has occupied the last bench with Akshay,
he tried to awake his tired self to his maximum ( I deeply appreciate your zeal
to know what I was blabbering in the class, dear).Oh, How did I not mention
Manthravadi and his art of writing ‘inter personal communication’? The
discussion has gone for long and in between they shared the mark of other
subjects too. Somewhere I had a doubt and I asked the young boys- of all these
two terms you have spent in this academy, whom do you evaluate as a teacher?
Who is that teacher (somebody who really touched your life with some lessons,
some new views). It is a matter of profound regret to know from the class that
they never had any teachers here. They added that this is a place just to teach
and get marks in paper. I did not know how to respond. As promised, I did leave
them a little early because their Engineering paper was not willing to leaving
them without their darshan. Let me make them happy atleast by making them see
some paper early.
Wafting
in untold thoughts, I just made my steps to step to A212. Thoughts started
pouring into me like an incessant rainfall- Oh, not even a single teacher? For
a moment I thought- is there no difference at least between a Humanities and
Technical teacher?Oh, rules and roles might be different here and who knows? If
I have become something, learnt something, it is only because of the wonderful
teachers who really did walk into my life (beyond the barriers of classroom,
exam paper, attendance). I am cocksure that I am so proud of my teachers and I
am all because of them. I hope there will come a day my teachers feel so proud
of me as much as I feel proud that I have made them proud in the way I wish to
make them proud of me. But as a teacher? I am not in a position to give me a
position right now. I have not even seen any of my very own 99INAC batch. I
will be an instructor atleast and I don’t expect a teacher coinage( But
Principal Sir has rightly said ‘whatever you invest for the cadets during your
teaching life, you will receive the dividends not now but in future for sure’.
So, let’s wait and watch and I am afraid of even dreaming anything)… I don’t
know what more to say. Many a time, I feel this academy is too much for anatomy
( I mean physical appearance. I am happy with my malnourished appearance
though) and I feel a kind of ultra-inferiority complex and alienated feelings,
many things make me forward. They are my teachers who share a very special
space in life and I have to keep going at least for them (my family too) to
prove the spectacular expectations they have already pinned on me. I was lost
in thoughts and I transgressed my temper via listening to KV baby’s song on
behalf of ‘Hindi Pakvada’. I felt like sleeping after reaching ORA. As I had to
engage myself with Karthik, Avani and their mom, I changed my plan. When I left
them, reached room and tried to sleep, I peeped into my VIVO and checked the
mail- hihihi! Prof. Mohan Ramanan Sir( My then Dean of (HCU)Hyderabad Central
University) has replied within hours all the way from Texas despite all his
busy schedule. Thank you, so much Sir for the wishes. Your words did touch me,
Sir .Let me cite a few- ‘Be yourself and
be focused. Everything will be well. God Bless You’. What more do I need when I
have teachers like my ever dearest Madam Sindhu Menon( I can write pages on you
for the pages you have written in my life, my one and only Sindhu ma’am), My
research guide Bhumika ma’am( I am glad that you really miss me and thanks a
lot for expressing that verbally with gestures. Finally, from impossible, I
have become possible to you, ma’am), My Aiyar madam ( my current Dean of
Central University of Rajasthan for the way she cares and scares me. Love you
for all the scoldings, affection and above all, the motherly treatment),
Anirudhan Sir (present Principal of my Sree Narayana Women’s College- the
bedrock of my days with English began a fine morning from that humane land),
Baiju Sir( My Journalism Faculty at Trivandrum Press Club and who later turned
out to be a father figure for me (my local Guardian at Delhi for almost two
years), my Beena Madam ( as affectionate to me like her own daughter and somebody who never taught me anywhere with
any books but she is that one body who keeps on showing green signals to go
ahead with all my crazy steps and pranks).. And the list goes on. Last but not
the least , the fortune teller of my life – my one and only Alok Sir (Thanks
for being the absolutely adorable slice in my life’s rainbow. My sister’s
faculty for five years but who was the real student/friend? A point worth
asking. You did not reply for my message wish. I am still waiting, Alok ji.
Please make me calm and pleasant. You have a mastery in that, Sir)……
Over
the years, when I look back, I feel a sense of satisfaction that a normal
student like me had a great relationship with the teachers who know to fill the
students’ vacuum with the elixir of life. But as a teacher? I do not know. The
‘ma’am’ coinage I am suffocated by these days is just like a ‘gaali’ right? I
have no answer. I have answer for one thing that I will be mentally strong to
face the worst in the days to come. As most of the colleagues have experience
in teaching, they keep on saying that they got better treatment outside. Oh, I
am the poor and unlucky chap without any better and bitter treatment? A
teachers day where you didn’t even see your first batch of students. I am
speechless for a while. So, I made myself comfortable by playing that very
confidence boosting song ‘ ente sooryan udichuyarnnu vaanilaake niram
pakarnnu…. Chirakinayi njan kaatthirippu…. Varna chirakinayi njan kaatthirippu’
written by my College teacher (my role of anchor started with her Audio CD
release function by Kaithprom Damodaran Nambuthiri mash. A memorable start for
Girija miss and a memory for the people who remember me with that shrill
voice).Here in this mighty land of warriors, my Job is a substitute for any and
many (Jobs are as (invisible and negligible as the common salt I guess). Thankfully,
I have not come across many or any to be my substitute. I enjoy that weird
variety and spice of life( a specimen sort of ) to the fullest. The phoenix in
me from the smouldering ashes accepts all these as the sailing steps for a
mighty flight. The worst experiences are always the best teachers. In that way,
I am thankful and obliged to lot many people and things here. Still, I believe
in Slyvia Plath: I am, I am, I am… The ‘Alchemist’ in me
keeps on echoing ‘I want to continue being crazy; living my life the way I
dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be’. Hence, I move on
with all my countless flaws and immature maturity. Yearning for the next
teachers day with an ardent hope that I will become a student once more soon …
May be overseas… What future unfolds is yet to be told…. Hence, my confessions
too.
